A bit of a week

All in all it’s been a bit of a week and I am not entirely unhappy that it has come to an end.   Whilst I had a day hibernating in the caravan on Monday, Phil had a very productive day at the GP flat.  He managed to get the entire wood chip off in the bedroom; he stripped the hall and even managed to get half of the lounge scraped off.  He was absolutely knackered when he got back to the caravan but very satisfied with his achievements.  Snake the plumber phoned on Monday evening to say that he couldn’t take do the work himself but said he was sending Blue to come to help. This was great except that it meant we both had to drive to the GP flat in separate cars.  I had already intended to work at the flat but Phil had other plans but he wanted to make sure that Blue was clear about what pipes were going there.

Not ones for making life easy for ourselves we have decided to change the layout in the kitchen and move the sink to underneath the kitchen window and we have also decided to rip out the kitchen wall where the electrics and gas pipes were originally.  This meant that Blue had to re-site the gas pipes and also do the first fix for the waste and water.  Blue was a little late arriving because he couldn’t find our flat but Phil went through everything with him and then made a dash back to the caravan.  Georgina is back from university for the summer and the pair of them were going to Melton to see mum and dad. 

Aside from a cup of tea break and a fish and chip lunch at Sue’s I pretty much worked all day in the flat.  Blue worked solid all day and did a good job with the re-piping in the kitchen.  He also managed to rip out the bath and get all the tiles around the bath off the wall.  I finished off scraping the wall paper in the lounge and all in all, it was a good day’s work.  I didn’t get back to the caravan until just before 5pm and I was surprised to see that Phil was already back.  Unfortunately he’d had a frustrating day; Georgina was late picking him up and then they got badly stuck in the traffic in town.  We hadn’t realised until it was too late that the Olympic torch was in Melton at midday on Tuesday.   They got stuck for ages and it was almost 1pm by the time they got to mum and dad’s bungalow.  It was a very short visit because unfortunately Georgina had a doctor’s appointment which meant she and Phil had to leave at 3pm.  It couldn’t be helped and I suppose at least G had a chance to see her grandma and granddad.

On Wednesday it was back again to MK in 2 cars. I left early and as I went the back way I stopped off at Sue’s for a cuppa.  Sadly she wasn’t feeling too good and she’d had a bad night.  It’s upsetting to see her in this way and frustrating because there is nothing anyone can do to help.  I stopped to chat and it was almost 10 by the time I got to the GP flat.  When I arrived, Phil had already knocked down half of the wall in the kitchen and what a mess he’d made.  I don’t cope very well with mess and chaos so straight I started sweeping up the rubble.  And then of course it was my job to put all of the plasterboard and buckets of rubble in my car and take them to the tip.  I couldn’t even lift the big bits of plasterboard so Phil had to get these down the steps and come to the tip with me.   We heated up chilli at Sue’s house and then dashed around the DIY shops to look at kitchens and tiles.

It was a really quick tour because we had to be back at the GP flat to meet Graham the surveyor. Phil had decided to get him round because we have got some quite big cracks in the lounge which we suspected might be due to subsidence.   Graham took a look inside and out and said there was nothing serious to worry about.  He thinks the cracks are just down to the age of the property and slight movement over the years.   This is good news, we will have to do some work to the lounge wall rather than just patch and paint over the cracks but that’s not a big deal.  After Graham left Phil got up in the loft and together we emptied the ex tenants rubbish into the bedroom.  God I’ve never seem so much crap; if I had a transit van I think I would have been tempted to drive to his new house and dump it on his drive.  We finished our day with a soak in the Jacuzzi at DW then it was back to Sue’s house.

Phil and the Wednesday night boys were out at the Thai restaurant in Stony and this Wednesday it was Phil’s turn to drive.  This was just as well really because he had to be up very early on Thursday morning.  Even though she wasn’t feeling great, Sue cooked us smoked haddock for supper and it was a quiet evening with the soaps on the telly.

Phil left Sue’s before 6am on Thursday morning to drive down to Norwich for an appointment with the probate solicitor and the litigation solicitor.  He went via Lowestoft as he wanted to go to Daphne’s bungalow to pick up his post.  Phil got there only to find a big skip in the front drive and then discovered that the locks had been changed.  The FA and the arsehole friend Jim are not hanging around.   We weren’t surprised though; the various emails coming from Jim have been a combination of madness but mainly aggressive abuse and lies.   Phil wasn’t looking forward to his meeting with the probate officer because he’d had to invite Jim to attend.  Jim did attend but I don’t know why because he told the probate solicitor that he would not be doing probate with Phil and then went into a tirade of abuse aimed at Phil, so much so, that he had to be escorted off the premises.

The probate meeting couldn’t go ahead but Phil did get a chance to have a short meeting with the litigation solicitor.  We are not really getting anywhere with the FA case and the money for fees is flying out of the bank.  I really don’t know where or when this is going to end.   The probability is that it will end up court but whether we will win god only knows.  While Phil was driving down the A14 and seeing to all things legal I went to the flat.  I did 6 trips to the tip and finally managed to get rid of all of the attic stuff.  It was hard dirty work; 17 hard drives, 10 monitors and bags and bags of other useless rubbish. 

And of course you can’t just ‘dump’ stuff into the household rubbish you need to ‘recycle’.  It took me most of the morning.  My next job is to get onto the DVLA and get them to come and pick up the abandoned car in the back garden.  I have made friends with 2 of the neighbours.  Sandra who lives alone across the way; she’s a nice lady and is very happy that we are going to make good the flat because it does let the cul-de-sac down.  Phil and I have also had a chat with Morris who lives directly below our flat.  His garden is a right mess but he’s agreed that we can get quotes for both gardens and he will share the cost. 

There was a lot more work I could have done in the flat yesterday but after my rubbish tipping I was done in and went back to Sue’s for a shower.  Sue had a call from the Churchill hospital on Wednesday morning to say that they were going to admit her on either Thursday or Friday providing a bed was available.  Sue hadn’t heard anything so after lunch she decided to call the Churchill only to be told that they did have a bed for her and she was told to turn up anytime after 4pm.  I think we both thought that she probably would go in today rather than yesterday so it came as a bit of a shock.  But Sue, organised as ever already had her bag packed.  All she had to do was make a few phone calls to sort her dad out and then we were on the road by 3pm.

I drove via Buckingham rather than the M1 and we had a good run arriving at Oxford about quarter past four.  Sue had to go to the downstairs reception to have bloods and then it was up to the ward for admission.  She is in a small ward with 3 other ladies, all of them quite old and seemingly immobile so I don’t think she is going to be having a whale of a time over the weekend.  Still I suppose that’s not the reason she’s in.  The reason she has bee admitted is because the team want to give her some injections which will ease her symptoms and also stop her tumour from producing hormones that are damaging her heart valves.  Basically they are preparing her for surgery which if all goes well, will happen in a couple of weeks. 

I was reluctant to leave Sue but she was anxious about me getting stuck in the traffic so at half five I said goodbye.  Unfortunately I did get stuck in all the rush hour traffic and it took me 2 hours to get back to the caravan.  I was tired and weary but it was a warm evening and Phil poured me a large glass of red and we sat under the gazebo and caught up with both of our respective days.   I was ready to go to bed but Steve phoned to say he was popping round.  He’d been to The Manor for his monthly Mazda meeting.  We hadn’t seen him for months and so it was good to catch up face-to-face, although I fear the conversation was rather one sided.

I really struggle only posting twice a week.  Not that my life is so interesting but at the end of the week there always seems to be so much to say that I go on and on forever.  Apologies for that;  I think I may go back to posting mid week, that way I won’t forget stuff and won’t end up writing in a short essay at the end of the week like I have done today.  Today we were meant to be working at the flat but neither of us is in the mood.  It’s peeing down with rain and so we have decided to lock ourselves in the caravan and catch up with paperwork.  I can’t say that I am much in the mood for that so we may just close the blinds and have a duvet day.  Every girl needs one of these every now and again and as I say, its been a bit of a week.

Work in progress

We have been busy.  I know in my last post I said I was really looking forward to a new project but boy it’s been hard work. On Wednesday we went to the GP flat together.  The first job was to get rid of the 2 cream sofas that the tenant had left.  We realised when we tried to get the first sofa out of the front door why the tenant had left them.  Try as we did, the sofa wouldn’t go through the front door.  At one point we got wedged in the hallway and the sofa was jammed stuck.  It took an almighty shove from Phil to get it unstuck.  In the end Phil got the saw and we had to saw the sofa in half to be able to get it out of the front door and down the steps.  What a nightmare and it took almost 2 hours to get both the sofas out of the flat.  The next job for Phil was breaking down the kitchen units.  This wasn’t so easy because Phil had forgotten to bring the electric screwdriver which would have made the job a lot easier.  Never mind, he managed to get all the units dismantled and then it was my job to take the mucky, greasy units to the tip.  Actually it took me 3 trips to dump everything including all the wall tiles from the kitchen.  It’s looking quite bare, all we need now is a Corgi registered plumber to disconnect the gas hob and the sink and then we are ready to start work. 

Phil had to stop work mid afternoon as he had to go to the doctors’ surgery to get his blood pressure checked.   As usual, we stayed at Sue’s on Wednesday afternoon. Phil went out with the boys and I cooked salmon for supper.  Unfortunately Sue wasn’t feeling too good so it was a quiet night and early to bed.   On Thursday Phil went to the GP flat and started scraping the wood chip from the walls in the bedroom.  Not an easy job because the stuff was stuck firmly. I went to the gym as stripping wallpaper is not one of favourite pastimes.   I stopped off with a Burger King for Phil and then went to pick up Sue as she had another appointment at The Churchfield hospital in Oxford.

The drive was okay and we arrived in plenty of time for Sue’s 2pm appointment.  Unfortunately we had a 40 minute wait until we were seen and then we found out that Sue wasn’t seeing the consultant and the junior doctor that she did see didn’t have her notes from MK.  We know that Sue has to see all the different specialists at Oxford which is frustrating in itself but when they don’t have her notes or results of previous tests, its hard to remain patient.   Sue eventually did get to see the consultant and after the MDT meeting tomorrow she is hoping to get a call from the Churchill to say that they have a bed.  They will probably get her in for more tests but I think she is still a long way from surgery. 

It was a really hot humid day on Thursday and we got caught up in the traffic as we left Oxford.  I suppose given that we didn’t leave the hospital until 4pm we did well to get back to Newport Pagnell just before quarter to six.  Oxford isn’t a million miles away but it does take up half a day getting there and back and allowing time for the appointment and extra time in case the traffic is heavy.  Poor Sue was done in and so I was I; I stayed for a glass of wine and got back to Overstone at 7pm.  

On Friday we drove to MK in the one car.   I dropped Phil off at the flat and then dropped into Sue’s for a quick cuppa.  Thankfully she was feeling much better which was just as well because she was having a dinner party that evening and was busy preparing and cooking.  After tea I went round to the flat to pick up wet soggy wallpaper.   Phil and I then went to Sue’s dad’s bungalow to do a couple of little jobs there and afterwards we went to the café at the oriental shop in Stacey Bushes.  Phil enjoyed his chicken katso curry but my chicken chow-mein wasn’t very nice.  After lunch it was back to wall paper stripping and then we went to DW for a Jacuzzi and a steam.

Sue had invited Jim & Anne along with me and Phil for dinner at her place and very kindly said we could stay the night.  I picked up Anne & Jim from their house to save them a taxi ride and we sat down to dinner for about 7pm.  And what a delicious dinner it was; pate to start, followed by chicken chasseur with green veggies and roasted new potatoes.  For dessert, we had fresh fruit salad and cheese and biscuits to finish.  It was nice to catch up with Anne & Jim and hear all of their plans.  All in all, great food and great company and a nice time was had by all.

It was a foggy start to Saturday morning; I dropped Phil off at the flat and then went to Anne & Jim’s house to pick up a special tool to help strip the wallpaper.  And then it was back to the flat for more stripping and scraping.   Phil stuck to the water and sponge but I worked with the heat blower.  I don’t which was more effective but either way it was slow going.   I don’t know who invented wall chip paper but whoever they are, they deserve to suffer a long and painful death.   I was glad when Harriet turned up at the flat at midday as it gave us an excuse for a break.  This was the first time that Harriet had seen the GP flat and she thought it was in a terrible state.  It is of course, and when you are ripping everything out, it always looks bad.

We took Harriet to the Giffard Park for lunch as we hadn’t been there for months.  In fact I don’t think we have eaten there since when we lived on Giffard Park.  The pub was fairly empty and we all ordered steak and chips.  Normally the food isn’t bad at the Giffard, it is what it is, pub grub but our steaks, when they came, were as tough as old boots and we had to send them back.  I very rarely do this but our waiter was happy to take them away and get the chef to cook us new steaks.  These were fine but to be honest because we’d eaten a third of our first meal, none of us were that hungry.  I will try the Giffard Park again but I don’t think I will bother with the steaks again.  After lunch, Harriet went straight home and we carried on with the wallpaper.  Sue popped by to take a quick look at the flat and we didn’t stay much longer after she left.  To be honest, we were loosing the will to live by this stage of the day plus we were knackered.  

Phil talked about going to work in the flat yesterday but in the end we decided to have a day off.   Phil did draw up the flat in AutoCAD and we plan with us to discuss over lunch.  Lunch was the Sunday roast at the clubhouse.   We studied the flat plan and have more or less decided to do a major refurbishment on the flat.  Phil has been desperate to knock down a wall for a long time and I think with this flat, he may just get his way.  We have decided to knock down the wall in-between the lounge and the kitchen making it a totally open plan.  I think the plan is to go to town on this flat.  New kitchen, new bathroom, slim line radiators, white gloss kitchen, under-floor eating and an ultra modern bathroom.   Its not exactly going to be a project with no expense spared, oh no, we intend to do most of the work ourselves and know where to source bargains but it will be nice to go for a sharper finish than we do with our normal rentals.     

Phil woke up with a really bad back this morning.  I don’t whether it’s because he slept in a funny position or whether it’s because of the wall paper stripping.  This didn’t stop getting his work kit on and going over to the GP flat for some scraping but I decided to stay behind.  I felt a little guilty but I wanted to give the van a good clean and catch up with some domestics which have been rather neglected.  I also wanted to sort some paperwork.  I have managed to do what I set out to achieve but it’s been a rather disjointed day. At lunchtime I forced myself to get in the car and go to DW Northampton for a workout but when I came off the A45 there was a big long queue of traffic which was due to roadwork’s.  I sat in the queue for about 10 minutes and then decided to turn around and give it up as a bad job.   I have finished my ironing and have showered and got changed in my pyjamas.  Yes I know it’s only the middle of the afternoon but it’s so horrible out there that I don’t feel like going out anywhere else today.  I do wonder when our summer will begin; ever since we have put up our gazebo its done nothing but rain.   

Life Goes On

The business with the FA and GAD’s estate is hanging over our heads like a black cloud threatening to burst at any moment but I have to say that I am trying my best to ignore it.  Phil is currently dedicating most of his time investigating and trying to build a case to go to court and is not able to ignore it.  I understand this to some extent but not sleeping and spending nearly every waking hour with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach is not good. Neither is being afraid of answering the landline nor picking up your mobile unless you recognise the number.   I do hope that justice will prevail at the end of the day but we keep saying that we should keep things in prospective and we should stick to it.  At the end of day it’s only money, con on no con.

The weekend seems far away now and was mostly dominated by the Grand Prix.  I never mind Phil watching it especially this weekend as it did distract him from the FA case but it did seem to go on forever on BBC1.  First you get the practices, I think 1, 2 and 3 and then you have the qualifying itself.   It seemed that Phil was sat in front of the telly for hours on end.  Not that it mattered, the weather was pants and I kept busy myself busy on Saturday morning by going food shopping at Morrison’s and then I went to the gym in the afternoon.

On Sunday I cooked a leg of lamb and invited Sue over to join us for lunch.  It was a fairly chilled day, a roast dinner, followed by Sunday papers and red wine, not necessarily in that order.  The cooker in the caravan is very temperamental at the best of times but on Sunday my roast lamb turned out perfect.  The roast spuds were a bit crispy and the Yorkshires didn’t rise enough but other than that it was fine.  Phil of course watched the Grand Prix and Sue & I dipped in and out.  The sun came out here and there but on the whole it was quite a windy and chilly day. Sue went home at teatime to watch the football.  She could have stayed at ours to watch it but she knows that we are not really fans even though it was England. Plus the penalties made the game go on and it would have been quite late by the time she got back home. 


After Sue left Phil’s mum called to say that she had just had a call to say that her best friend Glad had died.  It wasn’t a total surprise because Glad had suffered a stroke and was in hospital.  Poor Glad had been suffering for the last few months and I am glad she in a way that she is now at peace but naturally Phil’s mum was upset.  It’s only a month since Daphne died and now she will have another funeral to attend.  Phil & I knew Glad quite well and we really should go to the funeral but I am not sure we are going to have time.

The reason that we probably won’t have time is we found out at the weekend that our 1 bed flat in GP is vacant.  In fact it has been empty since the end of May when the tenant moved out and forgot to inform or indeed hand back the keys.   I can’t moan too much because Carl our ex tenant has been in the flat for 12 years, he mostly paid his rent on time and aside from a new boiler, we haven’t done any maintenance.  We emailed him at the beginning of May and said could he start looking for another property because we wanted the flat back.  We received a letter from an agency asking for a reference which we sent off and I asked Phil to contact Carl to find out what was happening.  Anyway, details aside, he’s gone and now we have a whole new project on our hands.

I had an early start to Monday morning as I had to leave the caravan by 7am.  Actually I was awake at 4am and worried that I would go back to sleep, I decided to get up and make tea. There is something that makes me feel quite virtuous about getting up in the early light of dawn; its like a stolen time and if you get any jobs done like letters or filing then it’s a bonus to the day.   Of course, it’s not a bonus when you spend 2 hours surfing the internet for anything and everything which is sometimes what happens to me.  Not Monday though, I did check emails and FB and then sorted myself out.  I left Phil half awake in bed and left just after 7am.

With it being a Monday morning, I decided to go the back way and stopped off at the BP garage in Newport Pagnell before landing at Sue’s house just before 8am.  Sue had an appointment with the gynaecologist at the Churchill hospital in Oxford and I had promised to go with her.  I had to leave Overstone to avoid the traffic and was probably too early for Sue; we had originally agreed to leave at 9am but in the end we left just after half eight.  Sue drove, the roads were busy with it being a Monday morning but we took it easy and arrived at the Churchill about quarter past ten.

Unfortunately the Churchill at Oxford was the hospital that Alan was treated not long after he was diagnosed and so Sue was all too familiar with her surroundings.  The Churchill is a bright modern hospital and I was impressed with its facilities.   After a wee and a cup of tea, we made her way to the outpatients unit where it seemed we had to wait for ages.   It was busy and the waiting room was packed but eventually we got in to see Dr Kehoe.  Understandably Sue was a little anxious as she really like the urogynecologist at MK but she needn’t have worried because Dr Kehoe was lovely.  He asked lots of questions, did a quick examination and assured Sue that he would co-ordinate all of her treatment at Oxford.   He also sympathised with the long wait and the many tests and appointments and said that he would do everything he could to start the ball rolling.  Lets hope he does what he promised, I think he will.   Sue had to have some bloods and then after a cup of tea in the café, we headed for home.    

It’s quite a drive to Oxford and back and Sue was fairly wiped up by the time we got back to her house.  Unfortunately it’s a journey that we have to get used to because I think there are going to be quite a few more trips backwards and forth over the next few months.   It was another early start yesterday and we were up at 6am and on the road by half past seven.  This time we were heading for Melton Mowbray to see Phil’s mum and dad.  With everything that has been going on, we have rather been neglecting them and only realised at the weekend that we hadn’t been down to visit since Daphne’s funeral

.  

Phil’s mum as always was pleased to see us.  Although Phil’s dad is a lot better than he was he still sleeps a lot during the day and Phil’s mum gets lonely.  George was never ever a great talker but these days his words are few and far between.    We hadn’t planned on doing any jobs but I am not good at sitting around so Phil sanded the wood above the garage door and I painted a coat of primer.  Next job was painting the bit of fencing between mum and dad’s bungalow and the next door neighbour’s house.  Last job before lunch was a coat of gloss on top of the primer.  Mum and dads bungalow is finally turning round to the way they want it and I am pleased to say that they are enjoying living there.  At least that’s one worry off our minds.  Lunch was home made meat pie with mash and veggies followed by apple pie and custard.  After lunch I popped into their local Tesco for some supplies leaving Phil and his dad to wash up and we weren’t late leaving.  I guess we were back at Overstone for 4pm.  It wasn’t a strenuous day by any means but for some reason we were wiped out by the time we got home.

This morning I have been up early (half 4) and once again need to be on the road to head to MK by quarter past seven at the very latest.  The reason for going early is that I have my car booked in at Days garage in Blakelands to have my cigarette lighter unit fixed.  The part has finally come in and once this is fixed (hopefully today) then I will be able to use the sat nav which will be most handy.  Phil is coming to MK also this morning and I will meet up with him at the GP (Giffard Park) flat and we will assess what work needs to be done.  Phil has already gained access so we already have a rough idea of what needs doing but I need to see it for myself.   I already know that it needs a new kitchen, a new bathroom, probably some plastering and redecoration all round.  Also the gardens need some serious landscaping and we need a new set of steps leading to the front door.  

But if I am honest, I am quite looking forward to this project.  The main reason is that we intend to move in and make this little flat our base.   The caravans are lovely, as is the park when the sun shines, but I have known for quite some time that my heart and soul is not here at Overstone.  I have tried, honest I have but I seem to spend my whole life commuting to MK and it just isn't practical.  We intend to keep both caravans certainly for next season at least, because aside from weekend breaks, it also gives mum and dad a place to get away.  We will however, have to try and let out at least one of the caravans, if not both of them, to recover the site fees and utilities.  I am not sure how easy this will be but we can at least give it a go, and well, if the sums don’t add up then we can always sell.  Right now though, I need to sign off this post, jump in the shower and pack my bags.  There is much to do and time waits for no man.

June Phil

My usual monthly roundup of events this month  has been dominated by Daphne’s funeral and FA affairs.  This month is probably the most stressful month of my entire life, mainly because of our friend the FA and his little greedy helper.  It has been made more stressful because of Sue’s situation unfolding.  Her situation is infinitely worse than our problems with greedy people; lets get things into perspective.  The living are far more important than the dead or their money.

I start this month with a picture of me when I was very little and presumably staying for the first time with Daphne at her house.  No wonder I turned out so weird; look how they used to dress me! 

 I found it while we were looking through old photo’s so as to make some photo cards for Daphne’s funeral reception both older black and white.

And newer coloured ones.

Claire, my Mum and I stopped at the local Travel Lodge the night before so I could practice my speech. 

 This is Daphne’s house.  Oh sorry, her Financial Advisors wife's house that Daphne had allegedly never met. 

 Steve came back from 3 weeks in Korea and Thailand which was great as it enabled me to forget things temporarily. 

 I managed to get the ramp erected on mums caravan to make it easier for them to stay.

 Harriet sent me a lovely card for Fathers day but I think that we have both changed quite a lot since this was taken in Florida.  Harriet once told me that I was her favorite uncle just like Daphne was my favorite aunt.


Daphne's Funeral Speech.

For those of you that don’t know me, I am Daphne’s cousin.  Well actually, my mum was Daphne’s cousin, so that technically makes me her second cousin.  Even so, I always thought of her as my Aunt.  When my mum’s father died on the day of her 9th birthday, she went to live with Daphne’s mum and dad in Hersham.  She must have stayed there a while because my mum went to school with Daphne until she was evacuated during the war where she went to stay with one of my grandmothers sisters in Lincolnshire. 

 My mum eventually married and when I was born, and my mum came out of hospital, Daphne took 2 weeks vacation and came to stay to help my mum.  Daphne once told me that neither of them had a clue about looking after babies but somehow I had survived.  This wasn’t an easy task, as we rented a house without electricity or gas.  Neither did we have running water so they had to draw water from the well outside and start a fire before they even had hot water to wash with.  Daphne also brought with her a gift for me, the teddy bear that I cherished throughout my childhood.  She also started a bank account in my name with the Halifax where she put in half a crown a week that I could use once I became 18 years old.  It doesn’t sound much now, being just 12.5 pence but it helped go towards the deposit for my first house when I was in my 20’s.

Daphne had always been a little on the bossy side, but never to me.  I used to look forward to my annual weeks holiday with her, once she took me to the science museum and was the first one to diagnose me as being red/green colour blind.  Another time to the natural history museum where, she later told me, that she could hardly drag me away from the bones of dead mice teeth which seemed to fascinated me so much.  She also took me to Madam Tussaud's, the planetarium, london zoo and a place that I cant remember but we fed dear.

To me Daphne was the cleverest person that I knew because she was the only one able to answer all my stupid questions.  I used to save them up for when I went down to stay.  I remember one question that I asked her.  I couldn’t understand why older things like fossils were always buried deep underground; the oldest being buried the deepest.  Over time it must mean that the earth was slowly getting larger?  She immediately answered that the dust was making the earth larger but also that the earth was slowly cooling and when things cool they contract, so overall the earth was staying about the same size.  This still seems like a satisfactory answer to me now.

When I was about 14 Daphne was to get married to Les Faulkner, her late husband and I was to be an usher.  My dad was to be her wedding driver and we tied ribbon to the front of his triumph 2000.  I remember feeling at the time that Les was far too old to marry my aunt appearing to me about the same age as her father, my uncle Arthur.  Daphne adored him and he soon settled in to become part of my extended family.  Over the years they visited many countries together, all over the world, Mexico and Bali being just two.  She also visited another of our cousins Joyce who was a missionary in Zimbabwe at the time.  I remember when it was her parents golden wedding, she paid for an expensive holiday for them in Norway.

It might seem from these exotic holidays that Daphne was a bit of a spend thrift, but she was far from it making every penny count.  Being brought up in the war years meant that, even if you had money you couldn't buy anything, so it was necessary to save and conserve things unlike todays throw away society.  She never believed in the best before date system and became a little notorious for keeping out of date goods.  Although I wouldn't like to follow her example, she was probably right because she never seemed to get ill from eating any of them.

Daphne never had any of her own biological children but always tried to help less fortunate ones.  Many times when she took me on trips, we would pick up someone or other from her local orphanage.  In later life she also looked after foreign students on their visits over here.  She also had many pen pals all over the world.  Lets not mourn her death but celebrate the life of Daphne Faulkner, my second cousin but also my favorite Aunt.

Trying to stay positive

This week has been a bit up and down; more down then up I’m afraid.  Steve left at midday’ish on Tuesday and drove back to Loughborough.  I don’t think that either me or Phil were very good company but hopefully when things settle down a bit, Phil can go and stay with Steve and they can have a proper boys night out.  When Steve left, I changed all the bedding and towels next door and gave the van a good clean.  Not that it was that dirty mind you, but it does need a going over once a week and now it is ready for when our next guests come to stay.  Tuesday night was a quiet one.

I was up bright and early and on the road by half seven on Wednesday morning.  Of course my destination was MK; I wanted to get an early start not just to avoid the traffic but I had a couple of things that I needed to do.  First stop was Sue’s for a cup of tea and chat.  I hadn’t realised but she was feeling so rough the day before due to her chest infection that she’d spent the whole morning in bed which is not like Sue.  Thankfully Sue said she was feeling a little better although she didn’t really sound it.   After my tea, I went to DW for a workout.  I had a good run for the first time in what feels like ages.   I grabbed a chicken sandwich for lunch and then went back to Newport to pick up Sue.  We then drove to her dad’s bungalow to coat the inside of the oven with Oven Pride.  This didn’t take too long and it was back to Newport for another cuppa and then I went to Zig Zag to get my hair done.  I’d been wanting to get it done for ages so half head highlights and a cut and finish was long overdue.  It was us a shame that I picked a really sunny afternoon, too hot really to be sitting in a salon for hours on end but then again timing never was my forte.  Still the end result was worth it and I was glad I hadn’t cancelled my appointment.

When I got back to Sue’s Phil was already there.  He stayed at Overstone to put up the ramp next door.   Dennis, our neighbour helped and between the two of them they’d made a really good job.  The ramp needs to be power washed and stained and then its job done.  On Wednesday evening Jan & Steve picked me, Sue & Phil up, we dropped the boys off at the Ship Ashore and then Jan drove us to her house for supper.  This was very kind of her seeing as she’s really busy at work and has a load of other crap going on in her life.  Jan had cooked a whole salmon and it was delicious.   It was ages since we’d all got together so it was really nice to catch up.  We promised that we wouldn’t hammer it with the wine because Jan had to be at work the next day and Sue & I had hospital appointments but this didn’t pan out and I had a hangover the next day. 

I had planned to go to the gym on Thursday morning but this didn’t happen.  I messed around at Sue’s and managed to clean off the dollop from the oven racks in-between the rain showers.  Phil went back to Overstone and when we were showered and dressed, Sue and I went over to her dad’s bungalow to clean the oven and put the racks back in.  We thought we’d have time to go back to Newport for a cup of tea before going to the hospital but there wasn’t time.  Instead we headed to MKG and grabbed a take away tea from the café before Sue’s one o’clock appointment with the endocrinologist. 

I forget his name but he was very nice.  Just as well really because he had Sue’s results and confirmed that it was 100% certain that Sue did indeed have carcinoid.  The confirmation didn’t really surprise Sue as she’d done her research on the internet beforehand and her own symptoms matched up.  I think I was more shocked than she was.  The consultant told Sue that her type of carcinoid is very rare, so rare that her case is being discussed at a doctor’s conference in Houston next week.   Sue was told that mostly all carcinoid is malignant but the next step for her, is a special scan at Oxford where she will be injected with a dye which will allow the doctors to tell just exactly what is going on with her body.  Naturally there were some tears but at this stage, without the results of the special scan, everything is still uncertain.  We had a good to wait until her next appointment with the cardiologist so we decided to get off the hospital grounds and went to KFC for a cuppa and some chicken.  After lunch we had to wait a while in cardiology to be seen but when we saw the consultant he pretty much said the same as the endocrinologist.   As we left, Sue told Atilla that she'd see him in Houston but he didn't get the joke. 

Because of the rareness and seriousness of Sue’s carcinoid all of her treatment will be done at the Churchill hospital in Oxford.  This is a pain because of the journey but at least Sue will have the best specialists and surgeons treating her.  It sounds bizarre now but on the way home, Sue & I couldn’t help laughing about the fact that she is about to become famous in the medical world.  A star, almost a celebrity and not just in this country.  I said to her you couldn’t be normal and just be ill with a regular tumour, no you have to have a very rare speciality.  Luckily we share a similar sense of humour and at the end of the day if you can’t laugh, well…….  On a more positive note, we know that Sue won’t be having any surgery until she has had more tests and scans so at least we can plan to do some fun stuff knowing that it’s going to be least a month before she’s admitted.

I left Sue’s at teatime with a promise from her that she wouldn’t spend all evening surfing all things medical on the internet and went back to Overstone to find a very depressed Phil.  He has received another batch of correspondence from the solicitor with copies of defensive letters from the FA.  He has also been receiving more nasty emails from Jim.   We don’t seem to be getting anywhere with this case.  To us, it seems like a straight forward case of an old lady being conned but this FA seemed to have every corner covered.  The worst thing is that both Phil & I plus his mum are being portrayed as the bad guys in all of this.  I can’t say that after yesterday I feel on top of the world today but I think I need to stay positive for everyone’s sake. 

Subdued, Stressed & definitely not sober

The weekend just gone was a very subdued one; Phil composed letters in the morning and I went to Sainsbury’s for supplies.  We have been eating out far too often recently and not only is this costly but it’s also not healthy.  So I cooked lunch, a steak and ale pie, with comfort mash and lots of fresh veggies.  Phil did some more paperwork after lunch and I got stuck in to washing and ironing.  It doesn’t take much to clean the caravan but with everything that has been going on lately, domestic duties have definitely been neglected.

We tried to take our minds off the FA business but with various emails going around it was definitely difficult to concentrate.  Phil was frustrated and fed up because despite making a call to the solicitor on Friday morning he had heard nothing back.  I feel his frustration and I am definitely on the receiving end of his anger.  Actually it’s not just anger there is a fair amount of sadness and complete disbelief.  After going through things over and over in our heads there are also questions that we have to address.  Did we let Daphne down?  Should we have questioned her financial affairs and advised her?  Did she really mean for Phil and his mum to be cut from her will entirely based on her dislike of me???  Phil received an email from Jim on Saturday which clearly confirmed his betrayal and this is the bit that hurts me the most.  Jim reckons that he had known of Daphne’s change of beneficiary for some 2 years.  We do not believe that to be the case and just goes to show the extent of the FA’s influence on all those that were close to Daphne. 

It was a much better day, weather wise on Sunday, and I took myself off to the gym leaving Phil to wade through paperwork.   I cooked roast chicken for lunch and was expecting Harriet to join us but I found out from Facebook she’d been out on a girlie night on Saturday and on Sunday she was ‘hanging’, her words not mine   After lunch was cleared away we watched the film ‘Ghost’ with Ricky Gervais.  We enjoyed it just as much the second time round as we did the first and at least it was a distraction.  Just after 4pm, Phil took my car and drove to Heathrow to pick up Steve leaving me home alone to get through a huge pile of ironing.  The time went slowly and it was half eight by the time they got back.  We settled ourselves in the caravan next door and Steve ate the roast dinner that I had plated up for HH.  It sounded as if he enjoyed a much needed holiday in Korea and Thailand. 

On Monday morning I headed to Newport Pagnell.   The traffic was awful and it took me an hour.  As usual my first stop was Sue’s house; after a whole weekend of being in Overstone I needed to escape and offload with my pal.  I have been offloading on to Sue rather a lot over these last few weeks and I do feel a tad guilty.  Not only does she have to put up with me but also Phil likes to talk to Sue so the poor girl has a double whammy.  And it’s not as if she hasn’t got enough on her plate with the pair of us.  Sue told me she had a doctor’s appointment so I volunteered to drive her and we detoured via her solicitors in Newport.  The doctor told Sue she had a chest infection and prescribed a course of antibiotics.  After leaving Sue, I went to DW in MK and had a really good workout.   I guess it was gone 4pm but the time I got back to the van.

Steve said that he had managed to sleep for the most of the night and was feeling much better after a shower.  Phil left him to go the bank in Newport but was back for 2pm to make them both some curry and rice.  I hadn’t eaten anything other than half a chicken sandwich as I thought the plan was to go The Manor for supper.  The sun came out at teatime and we decided to walk but just before leaving, Phil picked up an email from the solicitor.  He printed out the attachments which he scanned and it really upset him.  Steve ordered me a steak and fish and chips for him and Phil to share but Phil didn’t eat any.  I think he was in dire need of beer to drown his sorrows rather than food.  Which was probably why after The Manor, we ended up in the clubhouse.  Bad move, I was feeling knackered and wished I had gone home for early night.  When we did get back I do go straight to bed but both the boys stayed up for a while.

We had a lie in on Tuesday morning which is most unusual for us.   Phil cooked egg sandwiches for lunch and Steve left at midday.  I read the email from the solicitor and all of the attachments which were mainly letters from the FA and his wife.  It also included a report of the meeting that Phil had with the FA after the funeral.  The contents of these documents made my heart sink.  Not only was the tone of the documents threatening and hostile but it was obvious that the FA, who incidentally has been studying law for the last 5 years, was very familiar with the law.  I don’t know why this should have surprised me because we do know that he has been planning this for several years but it did.  I want to walk away but I don’t know if Phil can.  We never considered an inheritance from Daphne because to be honest, we thought that she would need full term care and that all of her assets would be used to pay for this.  It is a nightmare and what worries me most is the fact that it is making Phil ill.  He can’t sleep and just doesn’t know which way to turn. Where will it all end I wonder?

A need to unload stuff..............

After not blogging in well over a week it’s hard to know where to start but last weekend is probably as good as ever.  Phil went over early to Melton Mowbray to pick up his mum and bring her back to the caravan.  Originally both his dad and mum were going to come and stay at the caravan but George didn’t want to go to the funeral and figured he may as well stay at home in their bungalow but he was happy for mum to go away for a few days.  Whilst Phil was in Melton I put a joint of beef in the oven and lunch was more or less ready to serve when they got back to Overstone just before 1pm.  Despite my spending lots of love and care on my roast, the beef was as tough as old boots and the vegetables were very overcooked. 

On Sunday afternoon we set ourselves up in the caravan next door and went through the photographs that we had taken from Daphne's bungalow.   It brought back many memories for Phil and his mum and by the end of the afternoon we had managed to find enough pictures to fill up 2 memory boards.  Phil practised his funeral speech in front of me and his mum and I don't know whether it was the emotion of sifting through the photographs, but for the first time since Daphne died, Phil cried.   We had a quiet evening in our caravan and I felt quite sad locking Phil's mum in the van next door at bedtime because I knew she wouldn't sleep.  If I had of given it some thought I probably should have set up the sofa bed in our caravan.  The trouble with me is that I don't think at the best of times and my head is all over the place at the moment.

It was a truly miserable day on Monday and the rain showed no sign of letting up.  We had breakfast, packed the car and were on the road to Lowestoft just before 10am.  Phil took the land rover so he could use the sat nav.  We stopped once on the way for a wee and a cup of tea and landed at The Premier Inn at Lowestoft around at half one.  Check in wasn't until 2pm but I managed to get us our room keys and even managed to get Phil's mum a disabled room.  She was pleased because she had a king size bed and a walk in shower. 

Bags unpacked, we then went to Daphne's bungalow where we had hoped to meet up with Jim.  It doesn't feel very nice being in the bungalow and with Jim & Ray going through all her cupboards and   drawers, the place looks like it has been burgled.  I could tell it  was upsetting Phil's mum so after putting a call into Jim on his mobile and it going straight through to answer phone, we decided to go back to the Premier Inn.  We hung around for a couple of hours and then went to the restaurant for dinner.  The meal was okay but to be honest, I don't think any of us were very hungry.

We were pleased to see that it wasn't raining on Tuesday morning even though rain was forecast.  It was chilly but then it always is on the east coast.  We had breakfast and then went to get changed to our funeral clothes.  I had asked my step dad and Marie to come along to the service for some moral support and they turned up at the hotel just after 10am.  It was of good of them to come as Ipswich is a good hours drive from Lowestoft.  They had spent time with Daphne when we all went for a turkey and tinsel break at  the Warner hotel in Lowestoft a few years ago.  We had coffee and brought them up-to-date with the FA situation.  I don't think they could quite believe it but their mere presence did calm our nerves a little bit.  Phil went to practice his speech one more time and then we went in the restaurant to set up a room for the wake.  There wasn't really much to do, just hang up the boards and put out the cards and supervise the layout of the table and chairs. 

My step dad dropped me, mum and Phil at Daphne's house where we met up with Mandy, Daphne's cleaner, Emma her niece and Daphne's carer and Brian the gardener.   I'd received a call on my mobile from Jim earlier in the morning who hinted that there may not be room in the funeral car for Phil or his mum and I can tell you, I nearly got very angry.  But the car took six so there was room enough for all of us.  The service was at the crematorium in Gorleston and it was a tense 30 minute drive.  We were determined that in-spite of the FA legal crap going on, we wanted Daphne to have a nice send off.  As we walked in, I was delighted to see that there were about 20 of her friends.  My stomach churned in knots when I spotted the FA.  I couldn't believe it!  How could the bastard dare show his face, wasn't it enough that he has conned Daphne out of her entire estate with out pretending to morn her death??

The reverend gave a nice welcome and then Phil was the first to speak.  He had written a lovely speech about Daphne and I was very proud of him because public speaking in so not his thing.  There was a microphone but he didn't seem to notice this.  Jim did his speech and read a poem and then after a couple of prayers, the curtains closed.  It was a simple but sweet service and I think if there is any afterlife I think Daphne would have been pleased.  There was a little room outside where everyone congregated, we had wanted to speak to everyone to thank them for coming but Phil's mum broke down sobbing and the FA was lingering on the other side of the room.  It was a little awkward and after thanking the reverend we thought it best to go back in the car. 

We had ordered a cold finger buffet for 20 people and the food when it came out was good and plentiful.  Everyone liked the memory boards and it was nice to be able to speak to Daphne's friends.  Daphne used to work for the Treasury and the civil service had sent down 3 representatives from London.   We were pleased to meet 3 other people that had worked with Daphne and had remained in touch.  It was all going well until Jim spoke to Phil and told him that the FA was in the main bar and would like to talk to both Phil & Jim after he finished his steak.  I couldn't believe his disrespect for Daphne and his audacity to come to the wake.  I really didn't want Phil to talk to him but Phil felt he had no choice.

The FA was very mad, Phil said he was so mad he was almost spitting.  He told Phil to get a pad and demanded that he write down everything that he was going to say.  I guess the meeting took 20 minutes and basically what he told Phil was just a pack of lies.   He said that he was working for Daphne as a personal friend and not as a FA and that his wife as very close to Daphne.  He said that Daphne changed her will because she didn't like me and didn't want me to benefit from her money.  Apparently, she also said that Phil constantly talked about dying and with his weight and blood pressure she worried that he would drop dead at any minute.   He also said that Daphne didn't want to leave her money to Phil's mum because she was old and when she died, she would only leave her money to Phil.  The FA also said that he didn't want me or Phil in Daphne's house and that he personally was going to sue our solicitor and also a lawyer that we had been emailing.  There were a few other things to do with original trust funds but everything that came out of his mouth was a pack of lies.  Phil said much later that he felt that the FA was goading him so that Phil would punch him and Phil said that it took all of his self control not to say anything and walk away.  Thankfully Phil wouldn't tell me what was said when he came back because if he had of done, I knpw that I would not have been able to control myself.

A few phone conversations and emails over the weekend made us suspect that Jim had been working with the FA and very sadly , on Tuesday afternoon, our suspicions were confirmed.  This is Jim, joint executor of Daphne's will and a friend for the last 5 years.  Phil immediately knew this after the meeting because the FA named the online lawyer that only Jim knew about.  It is apparent that Jim has been forwarding our emails and revealing our movements and conversations.  I think this has upset me (and Phil) more than anything.  Obviously the FA has promised Jim a big chunk of the money in return for his help and support.  How easily people can be brought.  It makes me sick to the depths of my soul.

Everyone said how lovely the funeral was and after saying goodbyes, the Krause family were able to walk away with dignity in the knowledge that Daphne had had a fittng goodbye.  The whole day greatly upset Phil's mum and she was very keen to get back to the caravan.  We had a reasonable run and got back in 3 hours.  I think we were all in shell shock and emotionally drained after the day.    Phil told me and his mum some of the conversation that took place with the FA but not all of it.  It wasn't until the next day when I got up early and saw the notes on the printer that Phil had typed up that I realised that the whole basis for the change of trustee, was the fact that Daphne didn't like me.

For a start I had to reread and question my relationship with Daphne.  I knew that I wasn't Daphne's number 1, that was Phil, but Phil and his mum had to work hard at reassuring me that this wasn't the case, just a lame excuse for the FA to explain himself.  Now I know that to be true because Daphne phoned me 2 weeks before she went into hospital to ask me to check that I had changed my will to my married name.  I did check and I had, so she was pleased.  Not a nice feeling though thinking that she didn't like me especially as she is not here to ask.

On Wednesday morning Phil took his mum back to Melton Mowbray.  I think she was glad to get home and back to George.  She admitted that she had missed him which is not a surprise nwhen you think they have been married for 61 years.  I took myself off to MK with my first stop off being Sue's for a cup of tea and a much needed catchup.  Poor girl, she was ill with a virus.  A runny nose, a hacking cough and a headache, not to mention a head full of cotton wool.  I made a quick trip to the gym and popped in ASDA but in the afternoon I had to get over to our Cranfield flat.  I had 2 appointments, one with the loft insulation surveyor and one with Adam from Prestige.

We were thinking of putting the CF up for sale but in the current climate we have decided to rent.   The surveyor said he would be there between 2 and 4pm; I got there at half one and as I had taken my cleaning materials, I got bleaching and scrubbing while I was waiting.  Of course, mad Betty was at the window as soon as I got through the door.  I really  wasn’t in the mood for her mindless chat but its been a while since I have seen her so I guess I owed her.  The tenant had done quite a reasonable job of cleaning but it wasn't up to my standards.  Actually I was glad to do something physical to take my mind off the FA.  Sods law the surveyor didn't turn up until 4pm and Adam turned up 5 minutes after.   We do qualify for free loft insulation and I made an appointment for it to be done. 

I always have a lot to say to Adam and vice versa.  Phil had already told him about the FA and he asked me how the funeral went. I bet he wished he'd never asked because an hour later and he was still standing in the kitchen.  I gave him the instruction to let and he took some photographs of the flat before leaving.   I met Phil back at Sue's.  Phil went out with the Wednesday boys (minus Jim) as usual and Sue cooked me supper.  I really don't think she was well enough for company, let alone for cooking but she insisted.   I think if I hadn't been there it would have been a hot water bottle and early to bed.  We had lamb chops and mint sauce which hit the spot along with the red wine.  

On Thursday morning Phil & I went in seperate cars over to Harriets' flat to get some wood from her attic.  Phil needs this to build a ramp for the caravan next door.  From there, he went home to Northampton and I went to the gym.   I am not really into fitness at the moment, I don't know why.  I don't have to worry about my weight because I am not really eating unless someone cooks for me.  I am survivng on cups of tea and red wine.  Not healthy and I need to do something about this.  I did order fish and chips at  the Ship Ashore where I met up with Harriet but I wasn't hungry and it wasn't very nice so I left most of it.  In the afternoon it was back to Sue's and then to MK General for her appointment with the Cardiologist.   We were both nervous because we were expecting her results to be back and to be given a firm diagnosis regarding her heart.  But frustratingly because of the long bank holiday, the results weren't back.  The doctor said that he would chase them  up and also he would discuss her case with the team at Oxford.  Hopefully, at her next appointment next week,  surgery can be discussed and dates agreed.  Fingers crossed.

Thursday night it was back to Overstone;  Phil had had a busy admin afternoon and I think he was pleased to see me when I walked through the door. We had briefly spoken during the day but not much because we are both not answering our mobile phones.  The reason for this, is that we are being chased by Jim for the original will.  The FA needs this to complete probate.  He  is anxious to file probate so he can get his hands on Daphne's money.   Jim sent Phil a rather nasty email asking for the will and also telling him he was being very disrespectful.  What???  He also left messages on Phil's phone and yesterday he left a very creepy message on my phone asking me to ask Phil to send him the will.  He also said that even after this 'funny business'  he hoped that we could still enjoy our conversations.  What is this guy on?    Does he think that after everything, that I would not support my own husband?  I don't care if I never see or speak to him again.  He was certainly no friend of Daphne's and he is no friend of mine.

You can guess what Phil & I talked about for most of last night.  We have both realised that because of the emails and all the telephone calls, the original will is important to Jim and the FA.  Unfortunately both of them know where we live.   The FA has actually been to our caravan.  I am not sure if we are being paranoid or not, but before we went to bed last night Phil put on the alarm and we went to bed tooled up. The important documents relating to Daphne's estate have been copied and the original will has been moved to a safe place. Phil won't tell me where the will is because he says this way I won't be able to tell a hit men if I am being tortured!!!   I am pleased to report that we didn't get any unwanted visitors in the night but I can tell you that Phil was awake at 2.30am.  He hardly got any sleep because he was thinking about everything.   I was up at 4am and didn't really sleep much after that because I had to be up by 6am and had forgotten to set the alarm. 

All of this worry and a lack of sleep is taking its toll. I keep telling myself to get a perspective but its not working.  I do though, need to get a persepctive.  It's not an earthquake or a crazed gunman or nuclear meltdow, is it?  On the scale of disasters, this is not huge, its only money.  Easier said than done though.  This morning I left the caravan just after 7am and drove to the CF.  The loft insulation was being done anytime between 8am and 4pm and the company wouldn't call an hour before hand.  I have cleaned the windows inside and out and have taken the waiting time to write this post.

Phil went over to MK this morning to pick up Sue and they were going over to do a few bits at her dads bungalow. I think that all went well so that is great.  I apologise for banging on but I do feel better for getting it all off my chest.  I am sorry that I have had to make my blog private but Jim knew about its existance although I am not sure he follows me.  But I feel I have to ere on the verge of caution.  Also I didn't want have to curtail or leave out things, this way I can say what the hell I like.  Hopefully, we will be doing other things aside from banging out letters to lawyers but I do warn you now, I feel this battle is going to go on for ages.