A need to unload stuff..............

After not blogging in well over a week it’s hard to know where to start but last weekend is probably as good as ever.  Phil went over early to Melton Mowbray to pick up his mum and bring her back to the caravan.  Originally both his dad and mum were going to come and stay at the caravan but George didn’t want to go to the funeral and figured he may as well stay at home in their bungalow but he was happy for mum to go away for a few days.  Whilst Phil was in Melton I put a joint of beef in the oven and lunch was more or less ready to serve when they got back to Overstone just before 1pm.  Despite my spending lots of love and care on my roast, the beef was as tough as old boots and the vegetables were very overcooked. 

On Sunday afternoon we set ourselves up in the caravan next door and went through the photographs that we had taken from Daphne's bungalow.   It brought back many memories for Phil and his mum and by the end of the afternoon we had managed to find enough pictures to fill up 2 memory boards.  Phil practised his funeral speech in front of me and his mum and I don't know whether it was the emotion of sifting through the photographs, but for the first time since Daphne died, Phil cried.   We had a quiet evening in our caravan and I felt quite sad locking Phil's mum in the van next door at bedtime because I knew she wouldn't sleep.  If I had of given it some thought I probably should have set up the sofa bed in our caravan.  The trouble with me is that I don't think at the best of times and my head is all over the place at the moment.

It was a truly miserable day on Monday and the rain showed no sign of letting up.  We had breakfast, packed the car and were on the road to Lowestoft just before 10am.  Phil took the land rover so he could use the sat nav.  We stopped once on the way for a wee and a cup of tea and landed at The Premier Inn at Lowestoft around at half one.  Check in wasn't until 2pm but I managed to get us our room keys and even managed to get Phil's mum a disabled room.  She was pleased because she had a king size bed and a walk in shower. 

Bags unpacked, we then went to Daphne's bungalow where we had hoped to meet up with Jim.  It doesn't feel very nice being in the bungalow and with Jim & Ray going through all her cupboards and   drawers, the place looks like it has been burgled.  I could tell it  was upsetting Phil's mum so after putting a call into Jim on his mobile and it going straight through to answer phone, we decided to go back to the Premier Inn.  We hung around for a couple of hours and then went to the restaurant for dinner.  The meal was okay but to be honest, I don't think any of us were very hungry.

We were pleased to see that it wasn't raining on Tuesday morning even though rain was forecast.  It was chilly but then it always is on the east coast.  We had breakfast and then went to get changed to our funeral clothes.  I had asked my step dad and Marie to come along to the service for some moral support and they turned up at the hotel just after 10am.  It was of good of them to come as Ipswich is a good hours drive from Lowestoft.  They had spent time with Daphne when we all went for a turkey and tinsel break at  the Warner hotel in Lowestoft a few years ago.  We had coffee and brought them up-to-date with the FA situation.  I don't think they could quite believe it but their mere presence did calm our nerves a little bit.  Phil went to practice his speech one more time and then we went in the restaurant to set up a room for the wake.  There wasn't really much to do, just hang up the boards and put out the cards and supervise the layout of the table and chairs. 

My step dad dropped me, mum and Phil at Daphne's house where we met up with Mandy, Daphne's cleaner, Emma her niece and Daphne's carer and Brian the gardener.   I'd received a call on my mobile from Jim earlier in the morning who hinted that there may not be room in the funeral car for Phil or his mum and I can tell you, I nearly got very angry.  But the car took six so there was room enough for all of us.  The service was at the crematorium in Gorleston and it was a tense 30 minute drive.  We were determined that in-spite of the FA legal crap going on, we wanted Daphne to have a nice send off.  As we walked in, I was delighted to see that there were about 20 of her friends.  My stomach churned in knots when I spotted the FA.  I couldn't believe it!  How could the bastard dare show his face, wasn't it enough that he has conned Daphne out of her entire estate with out pretending to morn her death??

The reverend gave a nice welcome and then Phil was the first to speak.  He had written a lovely speech about Daphne and I was very proud of him because public speaking in so not his thing.  There was a microphone but he didn't seem to notice this.  Jim did his speech and read a poem and then after a couple of prayers, the curtains closed.  It was a simple but sweet service and I think if there is any afterlife I think Daphne would have been pleased.  There was a little room outside where everyone congregated, we had wanted to speak to everyone to thank them for coming but Phil's mum broke down sobbing and the FA was lingering on the other side of the room.  It was a little awkward and after thanking the reverend we thought it best to go back in the car. 

We had ordered a cold finger buffet for 20 people and the food when it came out was good and plentiful.  Everyone liked the memory boards and it was nice to be able to speak to Daphne's friends.  Daphne used to work for the Treasury and the civil service had sent down 3 representatives from London.   We were pleased to meet 3 other people that had worked with Daphne and had remained in touch.  It was all going well until Jim spoke to Phil and told him that the FA was in the main bar and would like to talk to both Phil & Jim after he finished his steak.  I couldn't believe his disrespect for Daphne and his audacity to come to the wake.  I really didn't want Phil to talk to him but Phil felt he had no choice.

The FA was very mad, Phil said he was so mad he was almost spitting.  He told Phil to get a pad and demanded that he write down everything that he was going to say.  I guess the meeting took 20 minutes and basically what he told Phil was just a pack of lies.   He said that he was working for Daphne as a personal friend and not as a FA and that his wife as very close to Daphne.  He said that Daphne changed her will because she didn't like me and didn't want me to benefit from her money.  Apparently, she also said that Phil constantly talked about dying and with his weight and blood pressure she worried that he would drop dead at any minute.   He also said that Daphne didn't want to leave her money to Phil's mum because she was old and when she died, she would only leave her money to Phil.  The FA also said that he didn't want me or Phil in Daphne's house and that he personally was going to sue our solicitor and also a lawyer that we had been emailing.  There were a few other things to do with original trust funds but everything that came out of his mouth was a pack of lies.  Phil said much later that he felt that the FA was goading him so that Phil would punch him and Phil said that it took all of his self control not to say anything and walk away.  Thankfully Phil wouldn't tell me what was said when he came back because if he had of done, I knpw that I would not have been able to control myself.

A few phone conversations and emails over the weekend made us suspect that Jim had been working with the FA and very sadly , on Tuesday afternoon, our suspicions were confirmed.  This is Jim, joint executor of Daphne's will and a friend for the last 5 years.  Phil immediately knew this after the meeting because the FA named the online lawyer that only Jim knew about.  It is apparent that Jim has been forwarding our emails and revealing our movements and conversations.  I think this has upset me (and Phil) more than anything.  Obviously the FA has promised Jim a big chunk of the money in return for his help and support.  How easily people can be brought.  It makes me sick to the depths of my soul.

Everyone said how lovely the funeral was and after saying goodbyes, the Krause family were able to walk away with dignity in the knowledge that Daphne had had a fittng goodbye.  The whole day greatly upset Phil's mum and she was very keen to get back to the caravan.  We had a reasonable run and got back in 3 hours.  I think we were all in shell shock and emotionally drained after the day.    Phil told me and his mum some of the conversation that took place with the FA but not all of it.  It wasn't until the next day when I got up early and saw the notes on the printer that Phil had typed up that I realised that the whole basis for the change of trustee, was the fact that Daphne didn't like me.

For a start I had to reread and question my relationship with Daphne.  I knew that I wasn't Daphne's number 1, that was Phil, but Phil and his mum had to work hard at reassuring me that this wasn't the case, just a lame excuse for the FA to explain himself.  Now I know that to be true because Daphne phoned me 2 weeks before she went into hospital to ask me to check that I had changed my will to my married name.  I did check and I had, so she was pleased.  Not a nice feeling though thinking that she didn't like me especially as she is not here to ask.

On Wednesday morning Phil took his mum back to Melton Mowbray.  I think she was glad to get home and back to George.  She admitted that she had missed him which is not a surprise nwhen you think they have been married for 61 years.  I took myself off to MK with my first stop off being Sue's for a cup of tea and a much needed catchup.  Poor girl, she was ill with a virus.  A runny nose, a hacking cough and a headache, not to mention a head full of cotton wool.  I made a quick trip to the gym and popped in ASDA but in the afternoon I had to get over to our Cranfield flat.  I had 2 appointments, one with the loft insulation surveyor and one with Adam from Prestige.

We were thinking of putting the CF up for sale but in the current climate we have decided to rent.   The surveyor said he would be there between 2 and 4pm; I got there at half one and as I had taken my cleaning materials, I got bleaching and scrubbing while I was waiting.  Of course, mad Betty was at the window as soon as I got through the door.  I really  wasn’t in the mood for her mindless chat but its been a while since I have seen her so I guess I owed her.  The tenant had done quite a reasonable job of cleaning but it wasn't up to my standards.  Actually I was glad to do something physical to take my mind off the FA.  Sods law the surveyor didn't turn up until 4pm and Adam turned up 5 minutes after.   We do qualify for free loft insulation and I made an appointment for it to be done. 

I always have a lot to say to Adam and vice versa.  Phil had already told him about the FA and he asked me how the funeral went. I bet he wished he'd never asked because an hour later and he was still standing in the kitchen.  I gave him the instruction to let and he took some photographs of the flat before leaving.   I met Phil back at Sue's.  Phil went out with the Wednesday boys (minus Jim) as usual and Sue cooked me supper.  I really don't think she was well enough for company, let alone for cooking but she insisted.   I think if I hadn't been there it would have been a hot water bottle and early to bed.  We had lamb chops and mint sauce which hit the spot along with the red wine.  

On Thursday morning Phil & I went in seperate cars over to Harriets' flat to get some wood from her attic.  Phil needs this to build a ramp for the caravan next door.  From there, he went home to Northampton and I went to the gym.   I am not really into fitness at the moment, I don't know why.  I don't have to worry about my weight because I am not really eating unless someone cooks for me.  I am survivng on cups of tea and red wine.  Not healthy and I need to do something about this.  I did order fish and chips at  the Ship Ashore where I met up with Harriet but I wasn't hungry and it wasn't very nice so I left most of it.  In the afternoon it was back to Sue's and then to MK General for her appointment with the Cardiologist.   We were both nervous because we were expecting her results to be back and to be given a firm diagnosis regarding her heart.  But frustratingly because of the long bank holiday, the results weren't back.  The doctor said that he would chase them  up and also he would discuss her case with the team at Oxford.  Hopefully, at her next appointment next week,  surgery can be discussed and dates agreed.  Fingers crossed.

Thursday night it was back to Overstone;  Phil had had a busy admin afternoon and I think he was pleased to see me when I walked through the door. We had briefly spoken during the day but not much because we are both not answering our mobile phones.  The reason for this, is that we are being chased by Jim for the original will.  The FA needs this to complete probate.  He  is anxious to file probate so he can get his hands on Daphne's money.   Jim sent Phil a rather nasty email asking for the will and also telling him he was being very disrespectful.  What???  He also left messages on Phil's phone and yesterday he left a very creepy message on my phone asking me to ask Phil to send him the will.  He also said that even after this 'funny business'  he hoped that we could still enjoy our conversations.  What is this guy on?    Does he think that after everything, that I would not support my own husband?  I don't care if I never see or speak to him again.  He was certainly no friend of Daphne's and he is no friend of mine.

You can guess what Phil & I talked about for most of last night.  We have both realised that because of the emails and all the telephone calls, the original will is important to Jim and the FA.  Unfortunately both of them know where we live.   The FA has actually been to our caravan.  I am not sure if we are being paranoid or not, but before we went to bed last night Phil put on the alarm and we went to bed tooled up. The important documents relating to Daphne's estate have been copied and the original will has been moved to a safe place. Phil won't tell me where the will is because he says this way I won't be able to tell a hit men if I am being tortured!!!   I am pleased to report that we didn't get any unwanted visitors in the night but I can tell you that Phil was awake at 2.30am.  He hardly got any sleep because he was thinking about everything.   I was up at 4am and didn't really sleep much after that because I had to be up by 6am and had forgotten to set the alarm. 

All of this worry and a lack of sleep is taking its toll. I keep telling myself to get a perspective but its not working.  I do though, need to get a persepctive.  It's not an earthquake or a crazed gunman or nuclear meltdow, is it?  On the scale of disasters, this is not huge, its only money.  Easier said than done though.  This morning I left the caravan just after 7am and drove to the CF.  The loft insulation was being done anytime between 8am and 4pm and the company wouldn't call an hour before hand.  I have cleaned the windows inside and out and have taken the waiting time to write this post.

Phil went over to MK this morning to pick up Sue and they were going over to do a few bits at her dads bungalow. I think that all went well so that is great.  I apologise for banging on but I do feel better for getting it all off my chest.  I am sorry that I have had to make my blog private but Jim knew about its existance although I am not sure he follows me.  But I feel I have to ere on the verge of caution.  Also I didn't want have to curtail or leave out things, this way I can say what the hell I like.  Hopefully, we will be doing other things aside from banging out letters to lawyers but I do warn you now, I feel this battle is going to go on for ages.